God Damned Split-tails v1.5

edit: some of my rage has dissipated since this post but I will try to put myself into the same frame of mind for academic purposes

For centuries they have been plaguing man kind with their bitching, manipulating and moaning. Wah you left the toilet seat up. You need it down, we need it up. Your a big girl, give it a tap and if its well hinged gravity should take care of the rest. This is but one of the examples men across the world must deal with. If you look back throughout human history this has always been the same. There is evidence to show that Octavian was merely dragging Cleopatra's name through the mud for political reasons when he called her a gargantuan whore but look at the facts. She was fucking Julius Caesar and Marc Antony, who just happen to be two of the most powerful men in the world. Octavian (later known as Augustus) was not getting the pussy though, hence the slander.

If you are with a girl it is easier. Simple fact. There is allot of talk about how been in a relationship sucks because you have to deal with all the chicks problems all the time, WRONG! You get sex on tap, she will make you food and run around for you (if your not whipped, but people who are whipped should be fucking shot anyway). When your single you get none of the above. Think about it, how many one night stands have you had dinner and breakfast made for you, not have to worry about the fucking clap and not had to deal with morning awkwardness? exactly

But because of the lack of easy sex there is much more anger towards the female type. I recently got out of a long relationship so am experiencing first hand these problems. Even if you have a few girls been juggled around there is no such thing as 100%. You also open yourself up for the dreaded "oh u fuckd dat bitch didnt ya". When you are telling your mate about your recent nights conquests and he calls bullshit normally it is laughed off with a "your just jealous" type of come back. But reverse the situation. Your mate is telling you, you slept with someone you didnt, oh the fury. Especially if she is someone who is going to degrade your spotless reputation (tui: yea right). Fist are clenched, blood starts to pump, tempers reach a violent level, then the words that are spoken in one variant or another before the fists are let loose
"GOD DAMN IT I DIDNT FUCK THAT BITCH!! I'LL KILL YOU!!"

I tested this last week and a well minded tipsy individual was almost pushed to the point of violence. Haha priceless.

Just remember guys:






No matter how hot she is, some other guy is sick of her shit.